eternal sunshine on the spotless mind

Frozen memories

Stefan — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 20:42:30 +0000

There I was a soon-to-be-30-year-old surrounded by a bunch of kids. After a couple of exercises my legs hurt, my lung felt like it was bursting and I was on the verge of throwing up. However in hockey it’s the legs that feed the wolf and sometimes a feeling of coming home, a feeling of being at peace with your body is nutured by the pain that comes with it.

I believe.

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Loves creates Love

Stefan — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 01:18:17 +0000

When Astrid Aand I chose the words we wanted to have on our wedding rings, we thought of that one single feeling we’d love to pass on to Mikko and all those we love: Love creates love – amor gignit amorem.

I believe.

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Rocket brothers crack and burst

Stefan — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 07:39:34 +0000

The hardest lesson in life is to let go. Believe me, I’ve been taught it a million times. There are some things I wish I could have held onto, there are some people I wish I could have kept in my life. There are places I wish I could keep closer to my heart. And it all boils to a simple yet unreplied little note – I miss you.

I believe.

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Not forgotten

Stefan — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 06:43:17 +0000

Weeks ticking away. After the scare, things have turned for the better. We took two weeks off, going to Sweden and Denmark. We took the very same route I did when I moved to Sweden in 2001 nearly nine years ago. I couldn’t stop smling all the way as it brought beautiful memories of a beautiful summer back to me. Then Copenhagen, where I spent my 15th birthday and on to Malmö, where mom took me for a hockey game nearly 15 years ago. I tought of my brother, Lukas, a lot this week. They way he pursues his dreams, I envy him. He’s right where here should, enjoying his life, seeing the world, going after a law degree. Yesterday Astrid asked me if I wanted to be 22 again. “Yes”, I quipped and she probably got it wrong. I love my life, I enjoy every bit of it and I can’t wait to hold our son in my hands. It’s just sometimes I wish I had been more consequent, harder on myself, pushing myself on getting college done in time instead of now trying to fit the odd course in my already crazy busy schedule. One wish granted, one change granted, this is what I would do: Get over with college. I would still get into journalism (at least for some years), as I still believe it’s one of those few places where you can still inflict change on people, companies, politics (yeah, right. . .). So yes, sometimes I wish I would be 22 again. Just to prove myself that I could do it. That some of the last years weren’t wasted. This may all be connected to my believe that life is one long process of learning and I sometimes feel I deprived myself of the chance to do it.

I believe.

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Gewinner

Stefan — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:58:38 +0000

An allem was man sagt, an allem was man sagt, ist auch was dran!.
Egal wer kommt, egal wer geht, egal es kommt nicht darauf an.
Ich glaube nichts, ich glaub an dich, glaubst du an mich, ich glaub ich auch.
Ich frage mich, ich frage dich, doch frag ich nicht, fragst du dich auch.

Ich bin dabei, du bist dabei, wir sind dabei uns zu verlier’n.
Ich bin dabei, bist du dabei, sind wir dabei uns zu verlier’n.
Ich bin dabei, du bist dabei, wir sind dabei uns zu verlier’n.
Ich bin dabei, bist du dabei, bin ich dabei uns zu verlier’n.

Leichter als leicht, geht es vielleicht, leichter als das, was vielleicht war!
Leichter als leicht, das ist nicht weit von hier zu dem, was noch nicht war.
Suchst du mich, dann such ich dich, ist die Versuchung groß genug!
Ich lass es zu, komm lass es zu, komm lass es uns noch einmal tun!
Ich geb’ nicht auf, gehst du mit mir, gehst du mit mir, mit auf uns zu!
Fällt dir nichts ein, komm leg nicht auf, komm reg dich auf und komm zur Ruh.

Ich bin dabei du bist dabei, wir sind dabei uns zu verlier’n.
Ich bin dabei bist du dabei, sind wir dabei uns zu verlier’n.
Ich bin dabei du bist dabei, wir sind dabei uns zu verlier’n.
Ich bin dabei bist du dabei, bin ich dabei uns zu verlier’n.
Ich bin dabei du bist dabei, wir sind dabei uns zu verlier’n.
Ich bin dabei bist du dabei, sind wir dabei uns zu verlier’n.

Ohhh
Yeeeh
Ich bin dabei!!
Du bist dabei!!
Wir sind dabei!!

Ohhh
Ich bin dabei!!
Bist du dabei?!
Sind wir dabei?!

I believe.

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The prayer

Stefan — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 21:51:41 +0000

Within seconds things you consider important become meaningless. I prayed as hard as I could.

I believe.

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tonight

Stefan — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 11:40:33 +0000

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain
We’re not the same, we’re different tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight

And you know you’re never sure
But your sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born
Believe, believe in me, believe
In the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there’s not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight

We’ll crucify the insincere tonight
We’ll make things right, we’ll feel it all tonight
We’ll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight

Thank you all for a great night. I feel incredibly happy deep inside.

I believe

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Those who speak know nothing

Stefan — Sat, 29 May 2010 00:22:10 +0000

The feeling is hard to describe. Astrid’s belly is growing right in front of my eyes and we are going through what I consider some of the happiest weeks I have had in my entire life. We created life and though I understand the technical aspects of a pregnancy (thank you, Wikipedia) the mere fact that we’ll be parents is still a miracle to me. While Mikko (yes, it’s a boy and yes he will get a Finnish name) is still 20 weeks away form us, things have changed, I have changed. Since I was 18 I was independent, free, floating. Now it’s up to Astrid and me to take care of this little being we so dearly wished for. While I not neccessarily believe in the teachings of the present-day catholic church, I believe in god. Love creates love I read somewhere. “It’s a beautiful thing we can tell him once, how much we wanted him”, Astrid said a couple of days ago when we talked about how life would feel as a little family. It might take us a while for him to be able to understand it – but we will make sure he will feel it right from the start: love created love.

I believe.

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wishes.

Stefan — Thu, 06 May 2010 11:07:13 +0000

I pray that one that day that will finally allow me to just do what I think I do best: telling stories.

There is fiction in the space between
The lines on your page of memories
Write it down but it doesn’t mean
You’re not just telling stories
There is fiction in the space between
You and me

I believe.

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we meet again

Stefan — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 16:58:22 +0000

I haven’t met you yet, but I think of you every day with all the love I have to give.

I believe.

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