Archive for December, 2003
Monday, December 29th, 2003
Anticipation.
I am getting ready to go. Two more days for me to endure and then I’m off. It seems like I should have forever to wait yet this is all just around the corner. I am nervous and anxious and calm all at the same time. It is a crazy feeling. [...]
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Thursday, December 25th, 2003
Inner smile.
My family has a tendency to create desasters at any big occasion available. Birthdays, christmas, new year’s eves seem to be the most favourite of them. Sanna got a full-force taste of it all yesterday. I have always been between two worls. Christmas for example has always been two-split. For 23 years I have [...]
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Thursday, December 25th, 2003
La Vita è bella!
After the homesickness recently, somehow the last two days have chased all those bad feelings away and everywhere I look I am reminded of just how wonderful life is, wherever I am. Today I spent Christmas Eve with just a few people: one of my housemates, a friend I have known here [...]
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Wednesday, December 24th, 2003
The joy of cooking.
Even after almost 2.5 years, America is a strange place to me. We might share the same language, but in the end I am not convinced that we share the same culture. Never is this so evident as when food is involved. Don’t get me wrong, the food in this area really [...]
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Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003
Around the world and back again.
I used to think that the longer I was away from home, the easier it would get to cope with not going home for the holidays. However, no matter how I try to forget what it going on, everywhere I go I am confronted with it, the shops are full [...]
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Monday, December 22nd, 2003
Turn around, say goodbye, to what is gone.
Sann’s arriving tonight and it will either mark a new beginning or an end. I do love her. It’s decision making time now and for my part, the wait is over. I don’t want to and can’t wait any longer. What I need is the same commitment as [...]
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Thursday, December 18th, 2003
Colorblind.
I am ready
I am fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine
I believe.
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Thursday, December 18th, 2003
Finals.
Whoever quoted ‘hell week’ must have been talking about college finals week. I just finished my last test today and it took me three hours. I am thankful it is over but dread finding out how I did. Even if I think I did well, there is still some part of me [...]
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Tuesday, December 16th, 2003
Rays of the sun.
“Below him was the multitudinous river, and, where the rock had parted it around him, big-grained vapor rose. The mini-molecules of water left in the wake of his line made momentary loops of gossamer, disappearing so rapidly in the rising big-grained vapor that they had to be retained in memory to be [...]
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Saturday, December 13th, 2003
And he shall wipe away every tear from their eyes;
This post has only one single purpose. To tell Sanna how much I need her here. How much I envy those couples that can happily walk home after a hard working day. It’s not only the girl I’m missing, it’s the friend I miss most.
“And [...]
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Saturday, December 13th, 2003
Disengagement.
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
– Maori proverb
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Friday, December 12th, 2003
It has been too long.
I’ve missed being able to come online. I’ve been sick for the past week and a half. I thought I was being smart and got a flu shot. Well low and behold I would be the one to react to it. I’m finally looking on the upside [...]
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Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
And Anna begins to change my mind.
She’s talking in her sleep
It’s keeping me awake and Anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand and
Oh lord, I’m not ready for this sort of thing
Her kindness bangs a gong
It’s moving me along and Anna begins to fade away
It’s chasing me away
She disappears [...]
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Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
A long december.
Looks like we’ll soon be able to welcome a new member onboard mindwork.net. Uhm, where should I start. I met Patrick a long long time ago (I guess 1997?) online. We both were quite new to the net and I think both fascinated by the possibility of just chatting online with people thousands [...]
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Tuesday, December 9th, 2003
17 minutes.
That’s how long it usually takes me to ride home from work. That’s about half the time it takes to drive, or one fifth of the time it takes to walk the whole way. It’s about more than the time it takes though, but rather about what these 17 minutes, when I am both [...]
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Monday, December 8th, 2003
Lied Vom Kindsein.
It’s been a strange, but wonderful weekend…While some others in my life
want to focus on me leaving this place, right now I just want to live
life more than ever. To feel alive and savour every sublime moment.
Now that I finally have a copy of one of my favourite movies, Wings of Desire, on
DVD [...]
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Sunday, December 7th, 2003
The art of how to fall.
Thank you Rebekka. I’m not sure if it was for the small place, the soft guitar chords or your lyrics, that sent shivers after shivers down my back. It felt so authentic, so natural. I guess neither you nor the crowd wanted to be in any other place that special [...]
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Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
Love actually is everywhere…
On Sunday, I was privileged enough to see the movie ‘Love Actually.’ The way the movie started out brought tears to my eyes. It talked of how love is really everywhere, not just a specific kind of love but every kind. The setting was the Heathrow airport in London. [...]
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