Years of believing finally made sense. God gave us life. I believe.
Read moreCounting down
The weeks and months have flown by and the big day is closing in. In terms of adusting our home to welcome Mikko to this world, our world, we are prepared. But could you ever be prepared for the sleepless nights, the fears, the prayers? It’s something that Astrid and I have discussed over the…
Read moreFrozen memories
There I was a soon-to-be-30-year-old surrounded by a bunch of kids. After a couple of exercises my legs hurt, my lung felt like it was bursting and I was on the verge of throwing up. However in hockey it’s the legs that feed the wolf and sometimes a feeling of coming home, a feeling of…
Read moreLoves creates Love
When Astrid Aand I chose the words we wanted to have on our wedding rings, we thought of that one single feeling we’d love to pass on to Mikko and all those we love: Love creates love – amor gignit amorem. I believe.
Read moreRocket brothers crack and burst
The hardest lesson in life is to let go. Believe me, I’ve been taught it a million times. There are some things I wish I could have held onto, there are some people I wish I could have kept in my life. There are places I wish I could keep closer to my heart. And…
Read moreNot forgotten
Weeks ticking away. After the scare, things have turned for the better. We took two weeks off, going to Sweden and Denmark. We took the very same route I did when I moved to Sweden in 2001 nearly nine years ago. I couldn’t stop smling all the way as it brought beautiful memories of a…
Read moreGewinner
An allem was man sagt, an allem was man sagt, ist auch was dran!. Egal wer kommt, egal wer geht, egal es kommt nicht darauf an. Ich glaube nichts, ich glaub an dich, glaubst du an mich, ich glaub ich auch. Ich frage mich, ich frage dich, doch frag ich nicht, fragst du dich auch….
Read moreThe prayer
Within seconds things you consider important become meaningless. I prayed as hard as I could. I believe.
Read moretonight
Time is never time at all You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth And our lives are forever changed We will never be the same The more you change the less you feel Believe, believe in me, believe That life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain We’re not the…
Read moreThose who speak know nothing
The feeling is hard to describe. Astrid’s belly is growing right in front of my eyes and we are going through what I consider some of the happiest weeks I have had in my entire life. We created life and though I understand the technical aspects of a pregnancy (thank you, Wikipedia) the mere fact…
Read morewishes.
I pray that one that day that will finally allow me to just do what I think I do best: telling stories. There is fiction in the space between The lines on your page of memories Write it down but it doesn’t mean You’re not just telling stories There is fiction in the space between…
Read morewe meet again
I haven’t met you yet, but I think of you every day with all the love I have to give. I believe.
Read moretouches
On days like yesterday when I leave my desk with a cramping stomach and an ache to finally expose this pathetic posse I turn to Astrid, touch the little bump that’s beginning to show. Happiness will eventually drive the tears I never cried away. I believe.
Read morewe’ve created life
A couple of years ago, I rode my car thorugh Austria, Germany, Denmark and finally Sweden to start the fall term at the University of Skövde. I don’t remember everything about the trip but one thing I do. It was a song in fact and while I probably didn’t understand its meaning back then, I…
Read morecalls
this one single call changed my life forever. could there be any better time than now? I believe.
Read moredoubts & hope
Never in my life have my doubts been this big. Never in my life my hopes have been this high. This one won’t end in tears. I believe.
Read morebreathing
Still awake I can hear you breathing As the night falls Love I believe.
Read moreyou
You told me I could stay out. I decided to come home. By setting me free, you made me yours. I believe.
Read morefinland
The more you live, the more you understand that seeing places and holding on to them, their smells, sounds and emotions is the food that will nurture your mind when your body is unable to go there anymore. Finland is such a place for me and it continues to haunt me. For the life of…
Read more2009, the hours
In January I built my own kingdom of days. In February I learned it sometimes is a long walk to freedom. In March I was in a New York state of mind. In April prayers were answered and dreams fulfilled. In May I watched the sun set on St. Pete Beach. In June I was…
Read moresimple moments.
as a hockey player it’s those single simple moments you live for: one-timer, left corner, top-shelf. i believe.
Read more14 pages
my mom gave me a letter of 14 handwritten pages instead of a christmas present. her legacy. i am afraid of starting to read even if i know it will be most likely the greatest gift to ever receive. i believe.
Read moreat the end of the day
I love how Americans use the expression “at the end of the day”. To me it sounds more optimistic than its german equivalent. I don’t know how this very day it will end, but I hope it will hold some of the love I felt when it begun. I sometimes may think to much about…
Read moreliving proof
i am trapped. Well now on a summer night in a dusky room Come a little piece of the Lord’s undying light Crying like he swallowed the fiery moon In his mother’s arms it was all the beauty I could take Like the missing words to some prayer that I could never make In a…
Read morenope.
you believe in coincidences. i believe in destiny. i believe.
Read morethings i miss
finland. peace of mind. the right decision. a moment of silence. grandpa. that little pond. i believe.
Read morereunitions & road blocks
A year can be such a short period of time if it only is in between meeting someone you know so well that time becomes an unimportant factor in the things you share. Christoph is such a case. We hardly meet these days but when we do it feels as if the time in between…
Read moreI awoke
I awoke Only to find my lungs empty And through the night So it seems I’m not breathing And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be And I’m breaking down, I think I’m breaking down And I’m afraid To sleep because of what haunts me Such as living with the uncertainty…
Read moreuse somebody
Off in the night while you live it up I’m off to sleep Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat I hope it’s gonna make you notice I hope it’s gonna make you notice Someone like me, someone like me Pori and the cold rain. I believe.
Read moremovie endings
The first chords rung out when we got up, ready to leave. I took a fraction of a second and the memories came back. It’s weird and beautiful likewise how I connect music to certain situations in my life. Places I have seen, things I have done. I know leaving and coming back is a…
Read moreneeds
I: “I need to go back to the States.” You: “Ok why?” Silence. Because I don’t belong here. Not yet. If there would be this little ray of light, this one small opportunity I’d take it. I believe.
Read morehide and seek II
oily marks appear on walls where pleasure moments hung before the takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this still life i believe.
Read morehide and seek
the past days have been among the most peaceful in a long time. Yes, I am still far away from where I think I should be one day but I once again – after a long pause – took the time to stop along the way, look at myself and look at the people around…
Read moreIt’s a lie that sets you free
Cause I love anybody Who’s fool enough to believe. And your just one of many Who broke their heart on me. And so I say I don’t love you Though it kills me. It’s a lie that sets you free. That sets you free. I believe.
Read moreProtected: a passionate comeback
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Read morethe manifest
this past weekend has opened my eyes in a couple of ways because I spent it with the ones I love. It made me think and somehow grounded me in a good way. Even if I am not sure what to make of it – yet. I believe.
Read more11 years
Record expires on 12-Aug-2012 Record created on 13-Aug-1998 Nearly eleven years ago I was an intern tucked away in a corner of the building. I was working on the web development unit of the newspaper I work for today (funny it took me a full circle to bring me back to the very same building?)…
Read morewindmills
There is fiction in the space between The lines on your page of memories Write it down but it doesn’t mean You’re not just telling stories As always with things that happened in the past you start glorifying them they suddenly seem to have been bigger than life itself. Just in this little case they…
Read moretheories
here is the thing that makes life so interesting: the theory of evolution claims only the strong shall survive. maybe so, maybe so. but the theory of competition says just because they are the strong doesn’t mean they can’t get their asses kicked that’s right see what every long shot come from behind underdog will…
Read moreWanderlust
It’s this thing that drives me away, whenever I am home and makes me want to go home whenever I have been away too long. It’s the sights and sounds, the aura of a new place. It continues to amaze me me how much this world has to offer as long as we are willing…
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