i just couldn’t fall asleep though it was a hard day, awake astrid and me lay there. up until this point it was a chain of one thing leading to another – finding an apartment, getting the loan approval, choosing colors, a new hardwood-floor, making dozens of decisions big and small. then i sat there, the loan contract in front of me. 25 years. i thought of the big yellow house and my ever-present fear of committing myself fully to something. fear is a bad adviser, but i accepted it, i listened to it, heard its arguments. they weren’t any good. then i signed.
i believe.