it’s only us.

cherin from jyväskylä send me a movie the international students in JKL did this semester. watching all the places i had been to a hundred times, knowing every corner, every move, just everything suddenly brought all those memories back. i met some of the best people in skövde, sweden and jyväskyläy, finland. mia and astrid, sinni and sven, mikko and riika, timo and ari – they belong to my other life, that i now, if only for the split of a second, i miss so much. the winter seemed to be never-ending up there close to the polar circle. not sitting here, where it all started from – i wish i could see a baltic winter night once again. see the snow flakes gently touch the ground, know that sanna is somewhere back there, calmly sleeping in the little heavenly place we created for ourselves. and as much as i keep telling myself, that this is all history, a moment in my life that i let pass by all to easily my mind, my dreams, hopes and wishes are still somewhere up there. in moments like this one right now, nothing i ever did to get back here makes sense to me. it’s only us – but it’s all of you i miss so much right now. sometimes the lessons life constantly teaches me seem too hard to bare, to heavy too carry and too difficult to be understood by a simple mind like mine. and in a light baltic night i will be back with you.

i believe.