i studied until 3am for this exam today and in the morning riitta questioned me through the 40 pages again. i felt so prepared when we got there. i really felt like i could make it. halfway through the exam i put my hand in my right side pocket, where i had among the other pockets, stored some of the post-it’s i had used to study. even if it was only a split-second and i pulled my hand back in a second because i had already answered the question it held the answer to the guard had noticed. for the first time in my life i got kicked out of an exam, though the look on my face and what i told her must have somehow showed that i didn’t cheat. it felt like somebody pulled the floor beneath my feet – and now i am sitting here absolutely not knowing what to do. if they would have caught me cheating okay, but i didn’t actually even know what was on the paper in my pocket because i had used 48 of them to study the texts. i would have just wanted her to consider what the romans already knew: in dubio pro reo. De profundis clamavi ad te, Domine…
i believe.
i believe.