every time i make a decision it turns out that instead of peace of mind, i get yet another decision put up in front of me. i think i was born to investigate, put thoughts into words, it’s always been my dream. there are no coincidences – that’s why i became a journalist and then again there’s doubts. given the current situation i am not happy. and i can’t be on my best if i’m not. you could argue that happiness comes from inside but this time, it doesn’t. it’s something i can’t change, as much as i want to. i’ve tried to be calm and ignore it – but i can’t stand by and let injustice of this kind happen right before my eyes with me in the midst of it all. it feels like running into a wall full force head first. fight or run? bite or swallow? i feel sick and tired of it this one time. franz once said that one of my biggest strengths was, that i’d always be coming up with one more creative solution. but this time, it feels i am fighting a losing battle that feels like the final one. don’t get me wrong – i’m not winching about my life in general, because i love it – it’s this one thing. and i’m standing by with my hands tied. <\/p>\n
and I’ll be so alone without you
\nmaybe you’ll be lonesome too<\/p>\n
i believe. (and it helps)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
every time i make a decision it turns out that instead of peace of mind, i get yet another decision put up in front of me. i think i was born to investigate, put thoughts into words, it’s always been my dream. there are no coincidences – that’s why i became a journalist and then…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/670\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mindwork.net\/myblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}