do you think..

…i would just disappear like that? no way. i am back home – as always contemplating change. the biggest change however has happened inside me. with every single step you take you understand more who you are and what you want to become. i have met so many different people over the past few weeks/months….

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late night thoughts

Ich hätte mir kein Leben vorstellen können, in dem alles vorgezeichnet ist. Also ich finde es besser so. One day I will be the one to say that. I believe.

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for the love of the job

But more than 40,000 newspaper journalists are still cranking away, and I’m grateful to be among them, having vowed to ride out the tsunami until they pry the company-owned laptop from my cold, ink-stained hands. I believe.

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A long goodbye

I am heartbroken, but in a good way. It’s been what I had dreamed it up to be. It changed the world, my world. And while some experiences in my life had to be long gone for me to understand them, this time I am enjoying things while they are happening. I breathe the world…

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beat of life

Whenever I’m abroad sooner or later there will be this beat of life I am slowly synchronizing with. The older I get, the longer it takes to wipe my social self and adapt to new surroundings but eventually it will happen. There will be this feeling of finally having arrived. I watched the sun set…

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The Path

The good thing about life is, that it gives you a new chance day by day. A chance to learn, to develop. The bad thing is, that few people choose that path. And that those who do will meet resistance, opposition and antagonism. I am not sure yet which category I belong to, but I…

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here now

When I’m deep inside of me don’t be too concerned. I won’t as for nothin’ while I’m gone. But when I want sincerity tell me where else can I turn. Because you’re the one I depend upon. I believe.

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A world spinning around

I know it will be over some day. And it will probably be that day when I realize what this, me being here in the States – somehow living a dream – really means and meant to me. Lately things happened too fast to put them in whatever order. I try to see, feel and…

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St. Pete

Pieces of my life have a tendency to fall into the right places at the right time – even if at last minute. Two weeks before I left for Brussels, I didn’t even have an apartment there, two weeks later I found myself in a 200 sqm loft at 500 Euro a month. Keep your…

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dreaming at the new york times

I don’t remember when I started thinking or better dreaming of it – as the glass facade rose in front of me I kind of had to pinch myself for being there and for still not understanding that yes indeed it was me. The New York Times to me always seemed like a myth, a…

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welcome to the crisis

After nearly ten hours on a plane and another three in the queue I was finally allowed to put my feet on american soil. “Don’t expect anything else than the great depression”, we were warned today by the people at the International Center for Journalists referring to the mood in American newsrooms. Five minutes later…

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dreams, given-up

I looked out over the ice, player’s scattered everywhere celebrating Klagenfurt’s 29th title. They had won it in style, in a true final game the audience holding its breath while the seconds ticked away and the team held on to a narrow 2-1 lead. I stood there and looked at the people I had been…

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run

Have heart my dear We’re bound to be afraid Even if it’s just for a few days Making up for all this mess I believe.

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nightshifts

some things are never true at first light, even if they seem to be. as time rushes by and i am holding my breath i try to understand the things that have happened in the past week(s). life can be one crazy thing, always changing whenever you are about to get a grip on it….

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inspiration

One must follow his dream, and usually they come true. Yours may be just around the corner. Keep the faith. Think positively. (thank you m.g.!) I believe.

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Blank sheets

There’s those moments when I figure why I am working for a newspaper: There’s no more joy in life than creating, day after day. There is the blank sheet of paper and you are the one to fill it. I believe.

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are we dying?

When the ICFJ asked me to send them a list of newspapers I would be interested completing my fellowship at I sent them a list of five (in a random order): a.) The New York Times b.) The Washington Post c.) The St. Petersburg Times d.) The Miami Herald e.) The Wall Street Journal The…

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the times are a-changing…

It’s been a couple of days filled with thoughts and talks about my future. Today I stumbled across a more or less mind-tearing post concerning the future of some people at “The New York Times”. Looks like “re-training” is the current crisis’ flavor of choice when it comes to the topic of euphemism. Still I…

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meeting dr. dood

Back in New York I had to see a doctor – nothing bad basically I just had caught a mild food poisoning in South Africa – to re-fill the antibiotics I had accidentally trashed back in SA. Well I chose the nearest walk-in clinic, sat down and waited. After about an hour it was my…

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doubts

Ever since I got word I am going to the USA and will finally get my shot there, there were those little thoughts sitting at the back of my head. What if? What if I fail in some way or another? Self-confidence has never been an issue at this end of the keyboard but now…

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about tides turning

Final Edition from Matthew Roberts on Vimeo. Over the past months I have closely followed Mario Garcia’s blog. Arguably one of the best known newspaper designers in the world (and of course the one that also re-vamped the “Kleine Zeitung” I work for) his musings are interesting and entertaining at the same time. However as…

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special moments

I don’t recall ever having a day that felt like it would change my life but this one did. When I got the call and they told me I had been selected for the 2009 US-Austrian Journalism Exchange all I could come up with was silence and a few uttered words. Then the call ended…

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new york lessons

1.) express trains are not always express trains. 2.) children always find a way to play. 3.) smile and you’ll get a smile back. 4.) nyc: full heart, empty bank account 5.) start spreading the news… i believe.

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thank you, no more bags

American supermarkts will in some way or another always stay a miracle to me – today I bougth a more or less basic breakfast while checking out I watched in awe as the girl behind the counter put each and every single item in a thin plastic bag, knocking the count up to five before…

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grief by the boxes

Sometimes it’s nice to be out of the country. Election day for example. I normally always put my democratic right to vote to use, but my state Carinthia sometimes feels like a hopeless case. Evene when our far-right governor Mr. Haider decided to pay his maker a visit after an alcohol-injected joyride that found its…

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yes we can

on election night i was at the u.s. embassy in vienna, a colleague from “die presse” had gotten us in and in some way or another we were there when history was made and obama won. being here in new york right now, it feels people are basically asking the second coming of him, i…

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a city of sleepless

after the lights went out i felt into a deep numb kind of sleep, outside were the police sirens, the cars cutting through harlem, the big city sounds, new york’s heartbeat. being back here is always like taking a trip to another world, which in fact it is. as of today i completed my application…

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A long walk

It’s been way beyond what i hoped for. and while I have traveled a fair bit in my life, south africa still managed to impress me in more way I could have ever imagined. however (and will I will write about this later in greater detail) what impressed me most is the simple fact that…

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you’ve seen me

These things that have comforted me, I drive away This place that is my home I cannot stay My only faith’s in the broken bones and bruises I display Have you ever seen a one-legged man trying to dance his way free? If you’ve ever seen a one-legged man then you’ve seen me I believe

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a kingdom of days

Sometimes I am – once again – that little boy sitting there in the room, listening to the Boss, dreaming of the shoulds, coulds, woulds, cans and cannots that this world has offered to me. About walking away, coming back – always on the run, a restless soul. I believe.

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time markers

I’d rather be someone who challenges himself, the people around him and life it-very-self than dying a dull old man who hasn’t added life to his days but only days to his life. I believe.

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the sunrays

nearly 10 years ago a teenage boy anxiously walked towards the glass cube down at the waterfront. wandering through the rooms history shone down on him, the instruments, the records – it all was there, right in front of him. hours had passed and when he sat down on the floor next to the large…

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he who travels alone

Letting someone go, even only for a trip takes a lot of trust. I’m asking for it because I do believe I’m worth it. I need to go there by myself walk the streets, float. I need it because it’s the only way I can take a little of my dream home. I believe.

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joy within

It’s been a crazy-cold weekend full of work. and still I enjoyed it, I enjoyed discussing and sharing ideas with my colleague A. I enjoyed being out there, meeting people, feeling alive despite the obvious lack of sleep. And beyond all that my eyes were opened to new things, new perspectives. Sometimes it feels I…

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2008, the hours.

in january i wondered where friendliness had gone. in february it was all about the greater game. in march we went to look for america. in april my thoughts loomed in the big yellow house. in may, as summer rose, i felt free. in june it was short nights and long days. in july my…

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darkness

sometimes you wish for something to happen so badly that it almost feels real. and when that reality you made up yourself is taken from you, it hurts even more. i bleieve.

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just a little piece

i have never bought into charities – meaning giving money to kind of ease your mind (at least that’s the way i see it most of the times). today i however i finally made up my mind to give at least a small amount to – wikipedia. it’s probably the singles best thing on the…

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only one thing that counts

It seems to be the perfect day for talks. I just had another with someone whom I consider my life-long mentor. It was about me, work, life. And about the one thing that really counts: People want to live. They have every right to and doing good things to them will have good things follow…

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