everybody’s gotta learn sometimes

after a long time i met christoph again, the couple of beers i had on top of my painkiller (R.I.P. wisdom tooth) weren’t exactly the wisest idea in my life but the evening was fun nevertheless. i reminded me so much of what last summer felt – like a moment were time stopped and there was nothing but the hours and days that counted. the night after the day it took me to recover was weird. i dreamed of being in jyväskylä once again, walking through the city i know so well (do i still?) – when i woke i told astrid about it. “you dreamed of it because your life was better then”, she said. i don’t think it was better, it was different, i was different. i learned some hard lessons in between, i found and i lost love in one way or another, and ironically as a human being this seemms to be the only way to become who you are – even if you don’t want to. even if you believe you left unfinish business behind and even if that somewhere is finland. after greg norman lost the us masters on that famous last round to nick faldo, the brit whispered into the aussies’s ear “don’t let the bastards get you down over this”. i won’t let that happen to me and astrid was right – there is a life after all.

i believe.