Growing up or growing out.

I think that one of the reasons I find it so easy to relate to my students, is that in my mind I am still the 18 year old kid who has just started Uni, who believes that the world is truly their oyster and that they can conquer anything. Other times I am the slightly wiser 22 year old, moving onto the next phase of their studies, pursuing my own research ideas for the first time and rejoicing in each small success. In reality I am all this and more, including that little girl, in her red boots, eating tomatoes, that my Dad so dearly loves.
Despite all this, I realised the other day that in some way, without really realising it, I’ve grown up along the way and grown out of things I thought I never would. There on Saturday night it hit me like a brick as I suddenly felt completely alone and so out of place, alhough I was in a pub I have known for more than 10 years, with old friends around. The feeling was almost suffocating, but as I escaped out into the fresh night air I realised it for what it was.

I’ve turned a corner, and I’m not looking back.