my austrian state of mind
we went for a hike with a friend of mine. up to the mountains. i felt like a bird floating between the clouds. i just simply love the mountains, the people, the austrian state of mind. i had my nudels, the beer and the schnaps. heard the grüssti, the servas and [...]
between the moon and you the angels get a better view.
first morning’s light is the most beautiful. small waterdrops on the turf tickling on my feet, i went for an early-morning walk in our yard. freshly-cut grass, bees small puddles left from yesterday’s rain. life’s simple things, the kind of art that nature creates, we [...]
Breaking the Habit
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I’m picking me apart again
You all assume
I’m safe here in my room
[Unless I try to start again]
I don’t want to be the one
The battles always choose
‘Cause inside I realize
That I’m the one confused
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And [...]
the hurt
sometimes i wish my way of living would be different. that the way i am would be different. i am too kind. too open and respectful with my loved ones. i care about people around me so much that i forget to demand things early enough to myself. it makes [...]
the extra mile.
exactly a year since i started working for our newspaper. to me it went by with the blink of an eye and i still remember the first day as if it was yesterday. within me things have changed. for the first time in my life i feel that this is the right thing. [...]
eternal sunshine on the spotless mind.
go see it. feel it. believe it. i haven’t seen a great movie like this one for such a long time. either you leave it after 15 minutes, or it goes under your skin, creeps up on your mind and you fall in love with it. i had one of [...]
and as the lights went off.
enjoying the darkness is one of the things i had to learnt he hard way. i was always afraid of the dark. now i have learned to love it. learned to accept it as the best time to think over things. the best time to write, to cry and laugh. [...]
the ocean
i was yesterday walking along the beach in italy. the place was grouded with tourists but in my mind there was only the steady rhythm of the ocean: the waves, the smell, the sound and the sand beneth my feet. on that very moment I felt complete and calm. For the first time in [...]
one big smile.
yesterday – i saw ultimate happiness. a little girl, not older than four years. holding a balloon she just got in her hand. the biggest smile in the world on her face. life at its best.
i believe
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the reason.
i love to fly. you ride the clouds and everything that looks so important miles below you, fades away. you can`t escape and quite frankly i never want to. flying to portugal yesterday gave me that feeling again – we flew over the coast, the ocean way back below. a pefect moment.
i believe.
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a ray of light.
everytime i walk along the lake, i feel calm. as yesterday. as sanna and me went for a walk, we felt this was it: the deciding moment in our relation. do we want to be sanna&stefan or sanna and stefan. the fact that i love her has been unchanged. right now, the [...]
to make it count.
to live you have to love. you have to love the small simple things. the simple things that make everything count, seeing the smile on a stranger’s face because you helped out with some coins. It’s just one of those small seemingly unimportant things that make this world come together day by [...]
foreign affairs
Floating on air.
Foreign affair.
A magical potion,
A cool locomotion.
A dream,
A prayer.
-Mike Oldfield
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halt mich.
went to see herbert grönemeyer’s (probably the most famous german-speaking entertainer) concert close to vienna yesterday. To understand what he went through you have to go back to 1998, when, within four days, both his wife and his brother died of cancer. Grönemeyer ridden with anger and pain disappeared from public view. Four [...]
Relationships are scary.
You put in so much of yourself when you really try and in itself, it doesn’t feel like you are trying at all. It is something that just comes naturally. Giving so much of yourself to someone else is scary because you have so much to lose if things don’t work [...]
It is time.
I have decided it is time to take another one of those trips of mine. Ever since I went to London I feel the urge to go here and there. This time the destination is somewhere I have been before and someday hope to permanently return to: North Carolina. [...]
Der längste Tag (The longest day)
The longest day started in the dusk of June 6th 1944. 60 years later we Austrians and German’s still call it the “invasion” or the longest day. When Americans, British, Canadian and others set out to re-conquer the continent, it wasn’t a “invasion” as it has been written down [...]
everybody’s got to learn sometime.
i wish i could paint, but it just can’t. whatever i try to jot on paper becomes a nameless formation unrelated to what my eyes see. i wish i could freely draw my feelings onto that white stretch of paper called life. as for me, i draw by words. as each [...]
the river still runs through it.
I sat there and forgot and forgot, until what remained was the river that went by and I who watched. On the river the heat mirages danced with each other and then they danced through each other and then they joined hands and danced around each other. Eventually the watcher [...]
Growing up or growing out.
I think that one of the reasons I find it so easy to relate to my students, is that in my mind I am still the 18 year old kid who has just started Uni, who believes that the world is truly their oyster and that they can conquer anything. Other [...]
loneliness
I feel lonely. I am lonely although I am surrounded by people. It is loneliness that no single person can fill. I am trapped by my own restrictions, decisions, thoughts, dreams and wishes. Having troubles breathing deep an sound. Something is changing inside of me. I am not able to see what is happening but [...]