yellow. i listened to powell’s speech at the UN a couple of days ago. 70 minutes of trying to convince people that saddam needs to be wiped off the face of the earth. yeah, that saddam they were supporting 15 years ago. whenever powell says something, rumsfeld makes sure everybody got the point that it…
Read moretime after time. been sick for a couple of days. high fever and loads of time alone at home to think over things. think about the loved ones we care about. the people that care about us. loads of time to think about life and its challenges. thinking of the 7 human beings that fell…
Read moregod put a smile upon your face. i love those winter nights, when you can literally hear the cold outside. the breeze against the windows. i love to work these nights. hour by hour i recapture my day, i guess it’s some kind of inner peace. sanna and franz have taught me some of the…
Read morethe scientist. Come up to meet ya, tell you I’m sorry You don’t know how lovely you are I had to find you, tell you I need ya And tell you I set you apart Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions Oh lets go back to the start Running in circles, coming…
Read moreat the beginning. it was a fraction of a second that decided. sometimes life cracks down to those small things that divide between failure and success. it went by so quick though i had anticipated that moment so much. i needed 10 games with a number of chances to score, but during that little split…
Read moreelsewhere. being thankful for what you are given is one of the most important things ever. if you settle down with what you are and what you have accomplished you are doomed to fail sooner or later. stay hungry in a healthy sense, look up to the stars and know the sky is the limit….
Read morefaded. i watched a docu about the first man on the moon yesterday. we’re the americans bla-blah, we were on the moon first, blah. remarkable however was one astronaut’s statement “we had come all the way and were orbiting moon and yeah i guess it was nice, but the image that caught me and still…
Read morei’ ll remember you. for the great person you were. for the times we shared. you’ve been dead for 7 years now and still you’re alive. for what you made me. for the lessons you taught me. for the love you gave me. for the world you showed me. i believe.
Read moreseven seconds. when we come to face our dreams, feelings and fears we are turned into little children, not knowing what to exspect form the future, not knowing where the path may lead us. i am not sure when i will come to face what i truly feel for some people in this world, when…
Read moreonce again, snow on the sahara. if that’s the only place where you can leave your doubts…when i go back on sunday, there will be loads of people waiting, i however only wait and long for some few and selected ones. i went through the numbers i had saved in my mobile phone over the…
Read moreAnywhere but here. once more going-home time. it’s a a steady rythm now. finland, austria, finland. had our last game before christmas yesterday, i remember sitting in the locker room my eyes close and smiling. people were probably really wondering what was going on. i don’t know, i just felt very happy and complete that…
Read moreme. for people like me that sometimes struggle to know where to start with realizing their dreams, that do everything at the same time and find themselves restlessly searching for their dreams, their goals, re-evaluating and re-thinking all their actions and words over and over, the only thing that stands between us and our dreams…
Read morewalk on. the incredible beauty of a baltic night surrounding me. the shining untouched snowcover outside, a cover that makes you believe you live in some kind of lunar scenery; amazing how everything appears to look softer, friendlier. looking back now, coming to finland was probably the boldest and best decision in my life. it…
Read morehere’s to the crazy ones. i guess all i want to achieve in life is making a difference. being different, take steps off the track, go my own ways. even if it’s just a commercial, apple has said everything i feel and long for with a couple of simple lines. “Here’s to the crazy ones….
Read morewith arms wide open. i like the days that give me a feeling something good is about to happen in my life. i like the days when people enter, or re-enter my life to tell me they are there, they haven’t forgotten about me and they care. i care for these people, more than they…
Read morei shall not walk alone. and i know that he’s watching my every step, the good and bad ones, the timid and the bold ones. looking forward to next summer, the past one being fitted into my dreams and wishes, the things i’ve learned, about me as well as about the people around me. the…
Read morewalk away. talking to one of my friends yesterday made me figure a change in my attitude towards finland. while by the beginning of august i was just making sure i was going to get out of this place as soon as possible, i now have to admit, this country has some kind of “second…
Read morea few words to many. Bare face the truth lies at my feet As you turn away Sometimes silence has a way of making peace i believe.
Read moreder weg. i kind of promised myself i’d keep this page in english, this time however i’m making an exception for someone who truly knows what loss and gain mean in life: german songwriter and artist herbert grönemeyer. ich gehe nicht weg hab’ meine frist verlängert neue zeitreise offene welt habe dich sicher in meiner…
Read morevisions of paradise. 6 weeks back home. leaving on thursday. figuring the unbelievable beauty of this country, the people i met, the friends i made and the ones i lost. saying, once again, goodbye to those i love and the ones that love me. thinking of a beautiful scandinavian fall, the stories i might tell…
Read moreBeliever. Like a believer We are out to find Like a believer We are living our minds Like a believer We don’t waste any time Like a believer We stand our ground I believe.
Read moreblurry. i ran my first ever half-marathon yesterday. after a coulpe of km’s you stop thinking about the running itself you just do it, i thought about sanna and me, the landscape that was passing by, franz running by my side, i really liked the team-thought we had and i guess both of us had…
Read moregive a little respect to me. by leaving klagenfurt i set a step that changed my world. now that i’m back here, i notice the things that have changed. things here seem to never change, people seem to stand still. i can feel it when i am hanging out with my old friends, not that…
Read morefurther on (up the road). going home, it means so much to me. whenever i used to be home earlier i never realized then intensity of things around me; now when i get to see the places & meet the people again it means so much to me. so much, it’s hard to put it…
Read morehere i am. thinking about the people at home. my dad’s little red cabrio i would love to drive on summer days like this one. missing the people and the time i could be spending with them right now, missing speaking german and kid around with tommy and josh. sometimes i could bang my head…
Read morebrothers in arms. it’s weird how a single image, a single sound can get down inside you, can give you a whole new feeling, can make you sing under the shower. happened to me a couple of days ago watching a movie and the images and the sound formed one perfect union, as if the…
Read moreyou fill up my senses. probably the thing i sometimes missed in my life is that someone told me that he was proud of me, who i was, who i became and what i have accomplished so far in my life. i never got disapproval from my parents but i always felt their doubts, their…
Read morehuman touch. spending my first midsummer here in finland i can still feel the bonfire’s heat on my skin, the rain that ran down my cheeks and the joy i felt surrounded by people i dare to call friends. i spent so much time last week thinking about friendships, the ones i had, have and…
Read moreon top of the world. i ran through the cold rain in pori, just feeling the world around me turn, feeling complete, feeling after all happy. then today i somehow started thinking about my dreams, or better what was left of them. i remember promising myself that i would conquer worlds and change things around…
Read morethis year’s love. sitting in a park in helsinki, i once again face a challenge, something that has always made me step outside of me and go for it, go for the challenge or as franz said, what do i have to lose… i believe.
Read morelearning to breathe. the most amazing thing that technology has brought to me is, that i am writing this posting while i am sitting down at jyvesjärvi (the big lake that jyväskylä is located at). the warm sunrays on my face and the world in my notebook. it’s just amazing how independent we’ve become and…
Read morecrash into me. if you go through a finnish summer for the first time you might feel overhelmed by its intensity, the sun that hardly goes down during the night, the soft shadows it causes in the evening. and if it seems i have been running all my life, i feel i have kind of…
Read moreacross the lines. and then i am back to this world again, a world of people speaking a different language, a world full of people that are different. and then i hate to fail, i would definitly hate to go back to austria and figure i couldn’t make it for whatever reasons i’d come up…
Read morelandslide. settling my mind, waving good-bye to this wonderful country, to its people and the ones i love. (how many more times will i?) went out to the graveyard to see my granddad’s grave. there’s is a bench right down the aisle and i could sit there for hours enjoying the beauty of the silence…
Read morethe world’s greatest. when i create, i create by heart. sometimes the disappointment that today’s world doesn’t seem to have open vacancies for people like me, is overhelming. i thought about all those applications i wrote for jobs in finland and the answers i got. most wouldn’t even take me in for an interview for…
Read morenass (wet) i have these visions that use to come back every now and then, suddenly i have a medlody or an imagine in my head and i know i have heard that specific sound somewhere before or seen those images somewhere. now it’s that movie i remember having heard of, it’s called “nass” (german…
Read moremy sacrifice. the last time i used this title was november 29 th, in my dorm room in skoevde, sweden, the things that have happened in between made me break the rule i kept – never be the same again – never use the same motto for a day. i used it because the feeling…
Read moreFree falling. You gotta love it, this yes-I-can-do-it-whatever-happens feeling. I can let myself go, I got the people I need, the most wonderful friends I could ask for, if those people Sanna, Franz & Tommy wouldn’t be there for me day-to-day, I would never be the person I am and the person I will be,…
Read moreAfter the rain has fallen. There’s one unbelievable smell in the air, the smell of a passed thunderstorm, of clean fresh air, of the fresh-cut grass. I missed getting up and looking out of the window to see familiarity wherever I looked, now being back here, where everything started, I just look around and enjoy….
Read moreWhatever makes you happy. Back in Austria again. Happiness, friends the sounds and smells I missed in Finland have come back to my senses. I started getting really home-sick up there, feeling both lonely and useless at the same time. Sanna made every effort she could and I will be forever thankful to her, I…
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