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Read moredeep cuts.
(from a friend) a very deep cut in my arm..that was near my elbow, left arm of course..this cut looked more like a hole, austria has shoot in me with its ground…stone probably..or maybe austria is a surgeon..this was a doctor knife..a cut..to put some drug inside of me..to let me live or die.. later…
Read morefive years later
As I was just driving back from my little sister’s 25th birthday dinner it suddenly occurred to me that it was five years ago on this very same weekend that my life changed forever. In the space of 48 hours I submitted my PhD dissertation, played and won a hockey grand final (which just happened…
Read morea thin red line.
i guess this is it. the deciding moment. i’ve been thinking of my life, studies and plans so much. i have to decide now: work or study. i will never ever get my degree finished if work goes the way it does now. i am taking more and more responsibilities, more tasks, more work. when…
Read moreThere but for the grace of God go I
In Australia we, or at least the media, have been quick to judge the Americans for their poor response to the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina. In these images I am reminded of an America I used to see every day as I rode my bike to work. An America where the gap between rich…
Read moregetting through just one more night.
At the age of twelve, Milton Ericksson was a victim of polio. Ten months after he contracted the disease, he heard a doctor tell his parents: “your son won’t live through the night.â€Ericksson heard his mother crying. “Maybe she won’t suffer so much if I get through tonight,†he thought to himself. And he decided…
Read moreweekends are hard.
they make me realize how lonely i am without you by my side. they make me question what i do. where the journey is leading me to. what should i do about my studies, the newspaper, money and life? i know riitta, you can’t fix it all for me. but my confidence comes and goes…
Read morei have to help her.
i fixed my grandma’s tv set. i have to go see her more often. what sparked that though inside me was one thing she said “tv, it’s one of these things that still connects me to the world.” i don’t want that to happen. please god, let me be that connection. i’ll try as hard…
Read morei could get used to them
there are no coincidences. not if i get home, turn my powerbook on and visions of paradise comes up on sky.fm. just smile and wave pieni – 2 weeks, a couple of times for the moon to rise and fall. i love you. i believe.
Read moreso more visions of paradise.
it’s been a long time since i listened to it the last time. And don’t ask me where All of the pain goes ‘Cause you make me feel That I don’t know myself You say that you want me forever And I say that love is no crime So tell me the names of the…
Read morewhat will become of me?
there’s been two things happening lately – i took some days off (basically a long weekend) and for the first time in weeks i truyl strechted out back home and did nothing, not a single thing. it felt wheew – just great. and then yesterday i skated for thhe first time this seaon. the magic…
Read moreon a beach.
and even if it’s cold outside (god, it’s august!) and there ain’t no beach – i feel so much more relaxed inside. waiting for september, for riitta to come, for uni to start and, and, and. so it might be as well sittin me down on that beach. I have swam those raging seas Washed…
Read moreon fire.
after a more or less tiring ride back home i am back in klagenfurt. and riitta is somewhere up there, just called me to tell me she woke up dreaming i was still there. i wish i was. work got a firm grip on me since i put my feet on office ground this morning….
Read morefix you.
i’ve been at the helsinki-vantaa airport so many times, i stopped counting. i’ve come and left, but hardly any time it felt this difficult to leave. when i moved back to austria in june 2003, i had a distinctive feeling that finland doesn’t hold a chance for me. i might as well just not have…
Read morecome josephine.
i don’t want to be on that plane. i want to stay here. Come Josephine in my flying machine And it’s up she goes Up she goes Balance yourself like a bird on a beam In the air she goes There she goes Up, up, a little bit higher Oh, my, the moon is on…
Read moreno words needed.
it’s at the point when you think you’ve seen it all, when new emotions overhelm you. this time coming to finland has been different from all the other times i have visited this place. being here with riitta has changed my world in some regards. we are staying with her parents, visited her grandparents and…
Read moreyou gotta be real.
and life at its best feels like being here in finland. when we drove from helsinki to kuopio i felt it – i belong here in one way or another. i thought of my grandad and that there are no coincidences. there are none, not a single one. me being in finland is what feels…
Read moreTo Norrland and back again
With so much travel in the last month, life has been getting away from me again, but this time I’m enjoying the ride. With my first trip to China coming up on Monday I’m still living on a high from almost 3 weeks in Sweden. After the amazing experience of such amazing hospitality from friends,…
Read morecan I tell?
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a…
Read moreflying high.
did my first flight on the katana. calling it exciting would be a total understatement for what i felt. even being a two-seat one-prop plane i really felt like a bird. beautiful, pure and and relieved from all that stayed behind. i believe.
Read moreyou’re beautiful.
i had this really tough day at work, since i am the commander in chief until elli comes back from her vacation. so i worked my butt off until 5 pm when the cleaning lady came in. she came to my desk put up this really sweet face and asked “can i tell you something?”…
Read moreas far as i am concerned.
listening to händel’s concerto grosso. enjoying a wonderful “casillero del diablo” – life can be so simple. simple in it’s difficulties and its beauty. i believe.
Read morethe truth is out there.
well almost. being a journalist i always try to keep a somewhat critical distance on things i read. well the styrian branch of the (conservative) austrian people’s party (österreichisches volkspartei = övp) deserves a huge share of that critical distance it seems. several austrian newspapers, as “der standard” today published an övp-internal document on how…
Read moreanother opinion.
the posting was removed on the request of the author. please accept my apologies.
Read morelittle gifts from above.
might be that i somehow felt it, and then i didn’t. but now i know – god happens to send all these people along my way. among them this little blonde girl waiting for me in finland. waiting for me. just beautiful. i believe.
Read morelondon rain.
the memories came back: new york, 1991, i was ten by then. the wtc, the towers. i felt small. then skövde, sweden, september 2001. again, i felt small and that this world is vulnerable. now london, 2005. what next? rome, kopenhagen, berlin? i hope that god or by which name you want to call him…
Read morea story bound to repeat itself.
Iniqua numquam regna perpetuo manent. Unjust rulers do not reign for a long time. isn’t it werid how things in this world are repeated over and over again. life is going on but is it going anywhere? are we improving at all? or are we just dead in the water? so many questions, so few…
Read moreabout conjunctives.
i could, would, should. sentences filled with excuses, old ones, new ones but excuses anyway. quite frankly it’s sometimes tring to live in a world filled with excuses. it makes me tired and sad. but then probably this is what life feels like sometimes: tired and sad. i believe.
Read moresleep where have you gone?
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a…
Read moreabout hurt and how it feels.
It felt like a punch in the stomach. Right there, where it really hurts. Hello? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone home? Come on, now. I hear you’re feeling down. Well I can ease your pain, Get you on your feet again. Relax. I need some…
Read morelife’s little lessons.
live a little, learn a little. a thoughtful weekend with one big learning: it’s a small world and people, wherever they may be, are haunted by similar problems, cheered by similar joys and united by little things. things that last: love, friendship, honesty. thanks for everything. i believe.
Read moresit down have a drink.
been searching for “new” music again and stumbled across NordicLounge – perrrfect music for a relaxing day off – started going through their tunes in the morning and was addicted by afternoon. reminds me of sweden & finland and so much more. i believe.
Read moreabout the joy of cooking.
for the first time since i moved here in november i had my family over. to understand my little story you might want to know that in my family cooking is not just cooking. it’s a divine act. mostly blessed with nothing but excuses why food didn’t turn out the way it did. the food…
Read moreany more beautiful?
“Everything is determined,” Einstein once declared, “by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust – we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” Can you describe life in any more beautiful…
Read morearound and around…
when i boarded the intercity in jyväskylä yesterday i had the hangover of my life, definitly no beer for one euro parties for me in a long time. but it was my goodbye evening in jkl so i guess it was okay. sorry to the people that had to subsequently share the flight from helsinki…
Read morevery, very late.
So pieni – in one way or another this is for you and only you. i guess you will figure. Remember: Minä näytän vielä ihan samalta, vaikka minusta on hajonnut palasia. I might not be the same anymore. But change in life is inevitable. And even if it must be sometimes so painful for you…
Read moreder wind über den klippen…
Minä näytän vielä ihan samalta, vaikka minusta on hajonnut palasia. I still look the same, though some pices of me are missing. Im Spiegel der Puderdose betrachtete ich mein Gesicht und stellte verwundert fest, dass es unverändert war. Aber ich war ja auch nicht völlig in Stücke gegangen, nur zwei kleine Teile waren zerbrochen. I…
Read moresleepers awake
i am pretty sure you have heard about the case of the girl in florida who’s been in coma for years. besides that case i started digging deeper into apallic syndrome, which would be actually the right terminology. it’s a world full of darkness with only random rays of light. and suddenly you start to…
Read moreich und wieviel von meinen freunden…
em and shaun both seem to have re-discovered the joy of writing. seems things start swinging mindwork’s way again – started feeling a bit lonely here. i’ve turned into an early bird lately, been getting up between 6.00 and 7.00 – for a guy who used to sleep through 9 easily quite a change.and something…
Read moremy name’s J.R….
the best thing about going somewhere else are the people. being here on the philippines once again assured me that this little blue planet is a lot smaller than we think – as long as we remind ourselves that we all are just human beings despite of the color of your skin, the look of…
Read more