due south. had a talk with one of my teacher’s at the uni today. pretty nice guy – we had a couple of good laughs about austrian/finnish stereotypes (“you play hockey??” – austrian hockey players to finns are something like downhill skiers from the kongo to austrians) – and the unavoidable question “what the heck…
Read moremy way. i’m thinking of sinatra’s song every now and then. about the short way i’ve come and the long one i still have to walk. i miss people here, people and places but i know that feeling from sweden already so i know it’s going to come and go, come and go. i remember…
Read morethe space between. running around in jyväskylä to meet people from the uni, from work & form hockey. god save the internet, was good to chat with tommy back home, gives me a feeling i’m stilll there (and a part of me will always be) – wondering what finns think of me, i bet it…
Read morebest i´ve ever had. so i made my way through most of europe :) btw – thanks to boris the russian, whom i had to share a cabin with on the superfast ferry from rostock to hanko, he made the trip truly an enjoyable one, and changed my opinion that all russians are only interested…
Read morefrom the outside. crossing the continent again, been on my feet for 30 hours straight now. went around the harbour here in hamburg, germany with sven this morning amazing. remarkable what he said about the city “there´s always a breeze of freedom around the corner” – just hit the point for me. i don´t think…
Read morewelcome new dreams. wondering when i´m gonna see this place again. it´s weird cause everything seems so final right now. wondering how i feel about this place once i´m gone. love carries. i believe.
Read morerun like mad. saturday, 4pm. now that i have a day, a time i can focus on, the good-bye seems so close, i frantically run from place to place to make sure everyone gets piece of me before i go again. how will you guys be doing when i come back (whenever that will be),…
Read morekiss the rain. whenever you need me. thinking of a long gone summer, about the people back then. about the feelings and the special smell that summer had, about nights spent sleeping curled up in the back of my car, about the emotions when people started to disappear from my life again. because their homes…
Read moresomething to remember. on the way back from hospital (mom is undergoing a minor surgery) i figured how much i really love this place, it´s probably a drive of 30 miles there, maybe a bit more and it could be that now, facing the fact that i will leave again, i´m very sensitive to these…
Read morehigher. here i´m sitting with my mind full of thoughts about leaving again, man the 3 weeks here in austria passed like a whirl and it´s pack-your-bags time again. people would grab their heads realizing what distances i did by car this past year, i got the car brand new last november and right now…
Read morethe great river. our imagination, and only this ability to lift us above all other things and beyond obstacles in our lives, sets the limit for what we do or where we go. sanna. ucommented. love inside. i believe.
Read moremay it be. i have that wonderful picture in my head, sanna walking down a row of trees, the background is white and then with a very soft fade you can see a big shot of her face. hm thinking about changing the design, why? because it doesn´t fit my mood anymore..when i made this…
Read morethe walking (and constantly) home sweet home. packing again, for the third time in 6 months, finland is calling. the introduction of the euro was a big thing here, unbelievable how excited people are, but i can understand them feeling my own excitement. 300 million people, one currency. wondering if the people in the states…
Read moreover my shoulder. what we do and where we go is something that lies deep inside everyone of us. it took me 2000km to understand what distance means, i feel like being between 2 worlds, allthough one of those world has ceased to exist. the unique combination of peope that spent those 4 months together…
Read morecome let me love you. austria – i missed you in the lonely nights and the bright days. i’m coming home, home, home. nothing can replace “home”, nothing i could think of, wheither i’m in sweden, finland or any other place in the world, my heart belongs to you, the mountains and my lake, the…
Read morewill you remember me. my time in sweden is baout to end. seems it went by in a second allthough it was 4 months. i think humain beings are always tempted to get slightly depressed when they feel someting is about to end. at least i fit in that category, sven and me went to…
Read moreheroes. sometimes i wish i could have a look at the world from space. i bet it looks like a peaceful place, like a place where you would want to raise your kids and then the blue, never-ending oceans. i feel somewhat stuck in between two worlds, was lying on my bed before wishing i…
Read moremy sacrifice. 5.16 am in the morning, should be asleep by now, converted to being a complete night owl lately, but besides work the thoughts of changing my life are keepping me busy as well. finland: freidns, uni, my parents, just evereything runs through my mind and sometimes it´s quite hard to get a clear…
Read moreI would die for you. I’ve never seen this kind of love Kind that won’t wash away And then leave you in the dark I would die for you
Read morethe 4 seasons. vivaldi and bach in the background the night has once again put it´s thick, cold coat over the city that has now been my home for 3 months. i owe sweden something. i owe sweden a thank you: one that comes by heart. thank you for giving me back what i´ve been…
Read moresitting here with an angel. a magic lights makes the country outside my window look some one dipped it into some glowing fluid. a beautiful clear sky makes it a perfect picture to go straight to my heart. the people i´ve got to know in this country will stay in my memory forever and it´s…
Read morewho needs sleep. 1 more month to go back home, to make a decision, probably changing the rest of my life. we´ll see what happens or what i MAKE happen. it´s that time when you realize it all comes down to your will to change a situation. i want to be.
Read moreyou belong to me. a week that went by in the blink of an eye, but what a week. true happiness, seeing sanna again gave me and my life a huge boost, she´s the only one around here that really knows me (probably she´s the only one worldwide :-) and it felt so good to…
Read moresecret garden. today sanna´s coming to skövde again, can hardly wait – allthought it´s been only 3 weeks since i last saw her i missed her like hell. time goes byso quick – remembering how i got to know her in klagenfurt, how we went boarding with hanna and daniel..long time ago indeed. will i…
Read moreangel. my little brother lying warm in his sleeping back beside me. i love that guy, allthough he can be a pain in the ass sometimes, i just love him for being the person he is and the person he´s going to be some day. i belive.
Read moresuperman. can’t stand to fly I’m not that naive Men weren’t meant to ride With clouds between their knees I’m only a man in a silly red sheet Digging for kryptonite on this one way street Only a man in a funny red sheet Looking for special things inside of me It’s not easy to…
Read moresweden 2001. Only tell me that you still want me here When you wander off out there To those hills of dust and hard winds that blows In that dry white ocean alone Lost out in the desert You are lost out in the desert But to stand with you in a ring of fire…
Read moresnow on the sahara. now i know why. why i was more than restless for the last 2 months, why i could never calm down, sit down and read good book or concentrate on the beauty that surrounds me. why i couldn´t see what was in front of my eyes, why i just couldn´t enjoy…
Read morebach, air. the lake – my lake, is one of the things i miss the most here. nowhere to hide, being vulnerable sometimes. walking there with sanna – how many times did we go there, just to find peace, to have a talk or just to enjoy being together in one place ? i miss…
Read moreout on a small lake. i was driving from the university to the computer shop, realizing that a chapter in my life may have just come to an end. hockey´s been always a big part of my life, actually i´ve played on a team since i was 9 or so. 11 years wow, what a…
Read morebeyond midnight. my senses fully awake. missing that special friend of mine. remember tommy, when we so mad at each other because i went home with the car and left you in the city and everyone felt it was the other´s fault. hehe man we´ve had situations like that, but isn´t it weird how all…
Read moreeverything you want. i don´t know why i stopped writing, but after a long night out, filled with thoughts and dreams, i vowed to start again, just to give my thoughts a little room. now, after being here in sweden for nearly 2 months it kinda feels home, kinda because there´s moments where the only…
Read morealive. I have failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my life. I love my wife. And I wish you my kind of success. from Jerry Maguire
Read moretime to wonder. out to elisabeth, enjoy your wait, enjoy your wonderful life, you deserve it. love will come to you on silent wings (reminds me of that old tina turner song i used to listen to time after time) – i truly believe that everyone has someone waiting out there. You never see it…
Read moreto the city that never sleeps. standing in front of these towers, i felt small as a kid of 10 could only feel. looking up the sky i remember the miracle of steel and concrete. now, that, in an unbelievable act of terror, 2 of new york´s greatest landmarks have gone, i feel anger and…
Read morenightswimming deserves a quiet night. sitting here, thinking about my future plans, can´t sleep and hardly can stay awake, where is this leading me? Nightswimming, remembering that night. September’s coming soon. I’m pining for the moon. And what if there were two Side by side in orbit Around the fairest sun? That bright, tight forever…
Read morethese days, where the stars seem out of reach. in a way i feel settled here, finally. still doubting if i shouldn´t have gone straight to finland, to stop waiting & longing for completeness. the knowledge that this place is temporary, no matter how much i´m trying to make “home” out of it, tires me…
Read morehere with me. i still wonder how everything seems to be so easy. i can´t believe that í am, where i´m now, that i made one of my dreams come true. that i now live in another country and yes i do miss sanna, i do miss my family my friends, my city, but the…
Read moreskövde. sweden. as if a new life has begun time has gone by so quick. i have started my one term studies at the högskolan i skövde (university of skövde), sweden. we drove here by car and the 20 more hours i could spend with sanna were probably the thing we needed to see how…
Read moredance with the angels. the world around me is hurrying to turn while i wish i could make it stand still for one moment in time. make it stand still to thank all the great people that have given me their support when it came to making decisions, when it came to doubting the things…
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