lessons at the end of the queue

riitta had the headache of her life on sunday, so i walked down to the city, where i had left the car saturday evening, to drop by my grandma and then at the pharmacy. everything worked out until the pharmacy thing, were about three people were queueing in front of me. each of them, as…

Read more

note to myself.

i have always wondered if my blog is interesting at all (well some 1000 readers each month appearantly think so) – but then my friend ed is about to show me what a good blog really looks like. i might have to switch mindwork’s focus as well a little, blogging straight from the holy offices…

Read more

just another soldier

but i’m not a miracle and you’re not a saint just another soldier on a road to nowhere amie come sit on my wall & read me a story of old tell it like you still believe that the end of the century brings a change for you and me amie come sit on my…

Read more

junges licht.

“Das ganze Universum ist vollkommen, verstehst du. Man kann nichts wegnehmen und nichts dazutun. Du bist längt tot und wirst immer leben.” Er tippte sich an die Schläfe. “Und wenn du dich für die Freiheit entschieden hast, kann dir gar nichts passieren. Nie” I believe.

Read more

a small world / a letter from canada..

Hi Stefan, first of, SORRY for the very late reply. I tend to procrastinate a lot in terms of email-writing.  I’m sure you can understand yourself that being a student, having a job, boyfriend/girlfriend and almost no time for anything else is a very busy time. Especially now, this semester, as I am 1 month…

Read more

about good days and how they start.

i got up at 7.30 with is, at least for me, a ridiculous time. the light came through the our living room’s multi-colored curtains (which riitta dislikes so much) and it felt like this day will be good on _ or at least i can make it a good one, if i try hard enough….

Read more

nokia – disconnecting people

so i got this shiny brand new nokia communicator 9300i to test – nice. the thing is: it ain’t work the way i want it to.it looks slim, right. but that’s about it. i expect a bit more from a 500+ euro device. for example vibra call. you heard me right. i’ve missed about 20+…

Read more

imagine all the people.

i love a good story, a well written one. one that sticks to my mind. the “augustin” – a newspaper to the benefit of homeless people in vienna published such a story about the now over 90 years old saxophon player Lucia Westerguard. Enjoy the read I believe.

Read more

hurt.

i am not a huge fan of johnny cash, but to whom else could “hurt” be more fittingly? what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end and you could have it all my empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I believe.

Read more

25.

it was a special day with those i love and who love me. for a small moment in time this life seemed so far away, distant and small. On winter trees the fruit of rain Is hanging trembling in the branches Like a thousand diamond buds And waiting there in every pause That old familiar…

Read more

hic rhodos, hic salta.

i wish grandpa would be still alive. after being allowed to repeat my exam, i scored a 2, which is the second best grade in the austrian system. i guess he would be proud of me. actually, i know it. and my prayers were heard. i believe.

Read more

imagine.

riitta and me just watched the opening of the olympic winter games. if there are still moments to dream in this world, john lennon’s imagine might have been one of them. i believe.

Read more

brothers in arms.

so it has reached austria, the small island of peaceful minds that carefully has tried to stay out of trouble. well this time it won’t work – we’re under fire too as the austrian embassy in iran has been under a de-facto siege and was nearly raided by islamic protesters. now you may judge by…

Read more

on how to restore faith.

i talked to my professor about the whole thing that happened during the exam. he was not only friendly but gave me one very specific impression: that there is always a way to work things out. in his case he smiled, asked me to do it again tomorrow and hoped i learned my lesson. i…

Read more

in dubio pro reo.

i studied until 3am for this exam today and in the morning riitta questioned me through the 40 pages again. i felt so prepared when we got there. i really felt like i could make it. halfway through the exam i put my hand in my right side pocket, where i had among the other…

Read more

the nighshift

it’s always pretty cool to do a nighshift at the newspaper – well “nighshift” basically meaning to be working for the economics section until 8 pm from which on our colleagues from the local news desk take over to finish everything up. just take our 6 pm conference for example: today philips fired 150 people…

Read more

a lake of dreams

if you are from klagenfurt you basically grow up with it, it’s always there – to swim in, to walk at. essentially “meeting at the lake” has a special meaning for us people here. it smells like fresh-cut grass and a light breeze in the summer and feels like a long quiet walk in the…

Read more

Jack for the restless

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars…”…

Read more

remembering, jan. 18, 1996

Silence, like a whisper Maybe tomorrow it won’t be here So tomorrow we could teach them Some new styles You’re such a killer So shoot me down again It won’t hurt when the killing is done by a friend Silence, like a whisper So this is all we need The fully air conditioned sound of…

Read more

The man comes around

And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder: One of the four beasts saying: “Come and see.” And I saw. And behold, a white horse. There’s a man goin’ ’round takin’ names. An’ he decides who to free and who to blame. Everybody won’t be treated all the same. There’ll be a golden…

Read more

at home far away from home.

it’s late and riitta is sleeping just room away from me, while i can’t get any sleep. the day has been far too exciting. we drove from ruka, down to kuopio and then to jyväskylä. right now i am sitting on hanna’s and mikko’s couch and i feel incredibly happy. to riitta it must seem…

Read more

the taste of Austria

Do you know that feeling when you taste something and it evokes such strong memories that it can almost transport you to another place? I felt that today as I was eating some typical Christmas sweets, sent to me by good friends in Linz. Even here, sweltering in the Tasmanian sun I found myself dreaming…

Read more

2005.

there were new friendships made, and old ones awakened. babies were born and memories died. but i love my life and wish you the same for 2006. i believe.

Read more

on sleepless roads the sleepless go…

went to bed at 2 (late-night packing is part of the package) and had to get up at 5 to catch the early flight to frankfurt. now sitting in terminal b and waiting for my connection to helsinki. time passed so quickly, it feels like it was only days ago, when it was still summer…

Read more

rilke for the sleepless

Die Blätter fallen, fallen wie von weit, als welkten in den Himmeln ferne Gärten; sie fallen mit verneinender Gebärde. Und in den Nächten fällt die schwere Erde aus allen Sternen in die Einsamkeit. Wir alle fallen. Diese Hand da fällt. Und sieh dir andre an: es ist in allen. Und doch ist Einer, welcher dieses…

Read more

one exceptional journey

first i felt like a prisoner in my own home. i hate nothing more than being forced to stay at one place, being the ever-hyperactive child that i am. but then again it’s the first time in weeks if not months, that i have been able to really relax, sit back and read, read and…

Read more

and isn’t it ironic…

so basically i am still stuck at home, my fever doing limbo on the thermometer. to add to the beauty of it all, i had to cancel work for tomorrow (- 100 euro) as well as tomorrow’s game which led to my coach totally ignoring my calls – all i got was a simple “ok”….

Read more

christmas, the bad way..

instead of being really able to enjoy christmas i had to spent it in bed. well i was able to go to midnight’s mass with tommy, but right after that an angina threw me right off my feet. so now i am bored and lonely (riitta is in finland, remember) at home…the thought of going…

Read more

i loved you in my fashion.

i got a message from sanna just right now. to be quite honest it hurt, it hurt because i wouldn’t have expected it. and even if all of this has been put away some time ago i cried. because i loved her in my fashion. All colours bleed to red Asleep on the ocean’s bed…

Read more

walls to be torn down.

weither it’d be a book or a movie: sometimes i got moments full of inspiration. moments that show me that there’s a thousand walls in this world, a thousand walls to be found and torn down. that’s one thing i have been thinking about lately: what do i believe in? ethics? morality? i try to…

Read more

Family is key.

I love my family. Not just my Mum and my Dad and my two sisters, but my extended family also. It is only in the last few years that I realised that compared to many of the people I know I spent a comparatively large amount of time with them during my childhood, particuarly my…

Read more

Wir haben nichts gelernt.

Die aktuelle Ausgabe der neuen Kirchenzeitung druckte wegen eines “Versehens einer Redaktionsmitarbeiterin” einen Leserbrief ab, der die Existenz von Konzentrationslagern in Österreich leugnet: “Religionslehrer mögen andere Prioritäten setzen, als Mauthausen-Besuche zu organisieren und der Schuljugend Einrichtungen zu zeigen, die nachweislich erst nach dem zweiten Weltkrieg für touristische Zwecke errichtet wurden.” Autor dieser Zeilen ist Siegfried…

Read more

the calm in the chaos

My mind is so chaotic as my life has been lately, that I almost don’t know where to start. Semester and the the committments that come with it are now gone, but it’s straight back into grant writing frenzy this week. On the upside last week was full of good news as I got 2…

Read more

run.

I’ll sing it one last time for you Then we really have to go You’ve been the only thing that’s right In all I’ve done And I can barely look at you But every single time I do I know we’ll make it anywhere Away from here Light up, light up As if you have…

Read more

not quite there.

i learned a nother lesson last night and yesterday: setbacks are the essence of life. whenever you’d think you’ve reached some status of perfection, life, god or whoever will teach you how vulnerable you actually are. i admit it, i am vulnerable. but then i build strong moments by myself. there’s is always, always a…

Read more

fiction in the space between

I know I posted these lyrics here already but then it’s a song that has njever failed to get me into a somewhat cloudy mood. Thinking about my life, the picture I have of myself, the picture others have of me and what I consider the true “me” out of these. Fall has pulled its…

Read more

singing my own song

The last two weeks I’ve been more sick than for years, sick enough to need a week off work. It’s been a frustrating time as I haven’t been able to get out and do the usual stuff but it’s also been a time for reflection. Coincidentally at the same time I’ve made contact with someone…

Read more

big cars are thirsty

My neighbour is having a barbeque tonight to celebrate finishing his patio. Consequently there are over 10 big 4 wheel drives parked outside my place. Seems like a kind of crazy situation to me, especially when we live in the middle of a city. I had to bite my tongue and keep very quiet when…

Read more

everybody needs an alibi every now and then.

Stone blind alibi I will eat the lie Find the word Could break any spell that binds you Prayers like ammonites Curl beneath the lights How I long to Bite any hand that feeds you more Where d’it all go wrong My Friday night enfant Where d’it all go wrong My Friday night enfant All…

Read more

me fido di te.

and i trust in you, even if my actions and decisions might not always indicate that i believe that you are watching over me. i always have to smile, when grandma tells me, that i should go to church more often. i don’t need a church to belive in you. i’ve had auch a great…

Read more