and i am trying hard – when i was working in villach i sometimes had a distinctive feeling, that this would be it for the the rest of my life. it might sound pretty much stupid for a 24-year old to say that, but i think i stopped dreaming sometimes. i totally stopped. now some…
Read moreof being free and its consequences
uni-life has got me again. there’s a thousand things to do organize, study, write. dad helped me out with money – so thinks are hanging okay. just have to limit myself down to almost zero expenses, besides the apartment and a few extras. overall this will be a tough two years to come – but…
Read moreThe legacy of Nobel
Today the Nobel committee made their first announcement for 2005, and those who know me and my fascination with these prizes will understand my delight at hearing the news. Congratulations to two great Australians, Prof Barry Marshall and Dr Robin Warren on being awarded the 2005 Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine “for their discovery…
Read moreabout poker chips, student loans and free ringtones
the mass of comment spam on mindwork really drove me to the edge. as of today everything should be fine again however – thanks to spamkarma2, a highly configurable solution to prevent comment spam on blogs like this. by the way: i manually erased one comment from a visitor, to one of emily’s posts. please…
Read moreTo the good people, wherever they may be
Every time something happens to shake my faith in humanity, without delay and always without warning, it is miraculously restored. This time it came as a great double whammy. The comforting words of old friends, who no matter my failings never lose their faith in me and at the same time the beginnings of a…
Read moremore than this.
basically i am broke. but i got something that feels more it’s worth more than having money, more than what i used to have: independence. i am going back to college, going back to the road i left (for good reasons, but nevertheless) two years ago. so many things happened in between – and i…
Read moreThe good hurt
Lately I’ve been on a bit of a fitness kick. Not for any particular reason but it just seemed like time. Tonight was the first night of the new tennis season and right now I’m aware of just about every muscle in my body, even ones that I didn’t think you could use playing tennis….
Read morePeace One Day
“Peace is not something you wish for; It’s something you make, Something you do, Something you are, And something you give away.” – Robert Fulghum Something for all of us to think about on this, the International Day of Peace.
Read moreone step up
still no decision – but, and this seems logical to me: i have to get going education-wise. i can work for the rest of my life, but that degreee won’t ever come back. so i guess i got to do, what i got to do – quit my job. go back to uni, get those…
Read moreabout comments (2)
comments are open and available for unregistered users as well again. i re-adjusted the spam-filter. we’ll see how things work out. i believe.
Read morecapturing the moment
They flocked to the high sierras again yesterday, with the sun, moon and mountains again in perfect alignment to capture the same image as Ansel Adams did 55 years ago. As I thought about how much I would have liked to be there to experience this moment it occured to me that cameras and other…
Read morein the raw
I know that it is not because here I am home alone on a rainy Friday night, but weekends are still the hardest time. Finally stripped bare of the usual layers of protection I carry, a false security that can trap you and keep you from ever getting close, here I am, just me, in…
Read moredreams of the city by the bay
June feels so long away. I’m seriously thinking about a little trip to the Bay Area before then. Will it be the same? Am I the same? I can’t wait to find out. Is it April yet? I forget sometimes how slowly summer passes You disappeared into Departures Only half a year ago It seems…
Read moreSex, lies and telecommunications
Today is another sad day for Australian politics and consequently Australia overall. In the early hours of this morning the government took full advantage of its absolute majority position to push through the full sale of Telstra that so many Australians absolutely opposed. While I am one of the lucky majority of Australians living in…
Read moreabout comments.
spam comments from a certain domain (www.emistry.com) have been flooding my blog and many others on the web. thus i was forced to allow comments for registered users only. signing up takes only a second. just hit the “comment” link – and then click “Log in”. I believe.
Read moredeep cuts.
(from a friend) a very deep cut in my arm..that was near my elbow, left arm of course..this cut looked more like a hole, austria has shoot in me with its ground…stone probably..or maybe austria is a surgeon..this was a doctor knife..a cut..to put some drug inside of me..to let me live or die.. later…
Read moreTo change the world
“Sometimes it falls upon a generation to be great. You can be that great generation” – Nelson Mandela
Read morefive years later
As I was just driving back from my little sister’s 25th birthday dinner it suddenly occurred to me that it was five years ago on this very same weekend that my life changed forever. In the space of 48 hours I submitted my PhD dissertation, played and won a hockey grand final (which just happened…
Read morea thin red line.
i guess this is it. the deciding moment. i’ve been thinking of my life, studies and plans so much. i have to decide now: work or study. i will never ever get my degree finished if work goes the way it does now. i am taking more and more responsibilities, more tasks, more work. when…
Read moreThere but for the grace of God go I
In Australia we, or at least the media, have been quick to judge the Americans for their poor response to the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina. In these images I am reminded of an America I used to see every day as I rode my bike to work. An America where the gap between rich…
Read moregetting through just one more night.
At the age of twelve, Milton Ericksson was a victim of polio. Ten months after he contracted the disease, he heard a doctor tell his parents: “your son won’t live through the night.â€Ericksson heard his mother crying. “Maybe she won’t suffer so much if I get through tonight,†he thought to himself. And he decided…
Read moreweekends are hard.
they make me realize how lonely i am without you by my side. they make me question what i do. where the journey is leading me to. what should i do about my studies, the newspaper, money and life? i know riitta, you can’t fix it all for me. but my confidence comes and goes…
Read morei have to help her.
i fixed my grandma’s tv set. i have to go see her more often. what sparked that though inside me was one thing she said “tv, it’s one of these things that still connects me to the world.” i don’t want that to happen. please god, let me be that connection. i’ll try as hard…
Read morei could get used to them
there are no coincidences. not if i get home, turn my powerbook on and visions of paradise comes up on sky.fm. just smile and wave pieni – 2 weeks, a couple of times for the moon to rise and fall. i love you. i believe.
Read moreso more visions of paradise.
it’s been a long time since i listened to it the last time. And don’t ask me where All of the pain goes ‘Cause you make me feel That I don’t know myself You say that you want me forever And I say that love is no crime So tell me the names of the…
Read morewhat will become of me?
there’s been two things happening lately – i took some days off (basically a long weekend) and for the first time in weeks i truyl strechted out back home and did nothing, not a single thing. it felt wheew – just great. and then yesterday i skated for thhe first time this seaon. the magic…
Read moreon a beach.
and even if it’s cold outside (god, it’s august!) and there ain’t no beach – i feel so much more relaxed inside. waiting for september, for riitta to come, for uni to start and, and, and. so it might be as well sittin me down on that beach. I have swam those raging seas Washed…
Read moreon fire.
after a more or less tiring ride back home i am back in klagenfurt. and riitta is somewhere up there, just called me to tell me she woke up dreaming i was still there. i wish i was. work got a firm grip on me since i put my feet on office ground this morning….
Read morefix you.
i’ve been at the helsinki-vantaa airport so many times, i stopped counting. i’ve come and left, but hardly any time it felt this difficult to leave. when i moved back to austria in june 2003, i had a distinctive feeling that finland doesn’t hold a chance for me. i might as well just not have…
Read morecome josephine.
i don’t want to be on that plane. i want to stay here. Come Josephine in my flying machine And it’s up she goes Up she goes Balance yourself like a bird on a beam In the air she goes There she goes Up, up, a little bit higher Oh, my, the moon is on…
Read moreno words needed.
it’s at the point when you think you’ve seen it all, when new emotions overhelm you. this time coming to finland has been different from all the other times i have visited this place. being here with riitta has changed my world in some regards. we are staying with her parents, visited her grandparents and…
Read moreyou gotta be real.
and life at its best feels like being here in finland. when we drove from helsinki to kuopio i felt it – i belong here in one way or another. i thought of my grandad and that there are no coincidences. there are none, not a single one. me being in finland is what feels…
Read moreTo Norrland and back again
With so much travel in the last month, life has been getting away from me again, but this time I’m enjoying the ride. With my first trip to China coming up on Monday I’m still living on a high from almost 3 weeks in Sweden. After the amazing experience of such amazing hospitality from friends,…
Read morecan I tell?
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a…
Read moreflying high.
did my first flight on the katana. calling it exciting would be a total understatement for what i felt. even being a two-seat one-prop plane i really felt like a bird. beautiful, pure and and relieved from all that stayed behind. i believe.
Read moreyou’re beautiful.
i had this really tough day at work, since i am the commander in chief until elli comes back from her vacation. so i worked my butt off until 5 pm when the cleaning lady came in. she came to my desk put up this really sweet face and asked “can i tell you something?”…
Read moreas far as i am concerned.
listening to händel’s concerto grosso. enjoying a wonderful “casillero del diablo” – life can be so simple. simple in it’s difficulties and its beauty. i believe.
Read morethe truth is out there.
well almost. being a journalist i always try to keep a somewhat critical distance on things i read. well the styrian branch of the (conservative) austrian people’s party (österreichisches volkspartei = övp) deserves a huge share of that critical distance it seems. several austrian newspapers, as “der standard” today published an övp-internal document on how…
Read moreanother opinion.
the posting was removed on the request of the author. please accept my apologies.
Read morelittle gifts from above.
might be that i somehow felt it, and then i didn’t. but now i know – god happens to send all these people along my way. among them this little blonde girl waiting for me in finland. waiting for me. just beautiful. i believe.
Read more