There is fiction in the space between. I saw it when I left the building. I went through the mailboxes, just to see who my future neighbours will be. Who will share a roof with me. It’s somewhere down in the third row. Now that I haven’t got any mail from the housing company lately…
Read morethe big yellow house. it’s moving time. the third time in my life i’m leaving the house i called home for so many years. the good memories i have of my childhood all take place in or around the big yellow house my great-grandad built 100 years ago. the stable that is nowadays a storage….
Read moreIt’s easier to leave than to be left behind. That’s what I feel like now: left behind. I get this feeling that life decided to go on, leaving me behind. I somtimes wake up in the night, thinking that all of this is just a dream. That I’d wake up the next day and everything…
Read more26. it is sanna’s 26th birthday. i would give anything in this world to be back by her side. anything. Oh simple things where have you gone I’m getting old and I need something to rely on So tell me when you’re gonna let me in I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin…
Read morei just don’t get it. Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let’s, in the words of Monty Python, “always look on the bright side of life!” There IS some good news from Tuesday’s election. Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists: 1. It is against…
Read moreAmerica decided. John Kerry led a bold, brave campaign. Some may call it flip-flop, but I have to admire any man, especially any politician who has the guts to say that he might have been wrong and would change his opinion. After living so long in an America I could believe in, what I still…
Read morei will find you. Hope is your survival a captive path I lead No matter where you go I will find you If it takes a long, long time No matter where you go I will find you In a place with thousand years No matter where you go I will find you In a…
Read morea choice for freedom. i am not going to advice anyone. i am not going to try to convince anyone. i am not going to tell anyone what to do. in my heart the United States have always symbolized freedom. freedom of speech, freedom of opinion and freedom of life. under george bush the United…
Read moreclutching at memories. I didn’t even watch the movie that followed it, all I saw was that one image of the Golden Gate Bridge followed by that sweeping camera shot of the city behind it, but it was all it took to make me wish I was back there. Even though I know it can…
Read morea pocketful of rainbows. spent the austrian national holiday down at the lake. riitta went with me to see what it was like down there. people enjoying the last sunrays, the clear sky the blue water. took some pictures. i believe.
Read morei got a letter today. it’s for our apartment, the place sanna and me chose to live in. the walls that were supposed to be our new home, hiding-place and fortress to the world outside. tomorrow i have to call them. tell them sanna is not here anymore. tell them it’s only me now. i…
Read morethe reason I’m not a perfect person There’s many things I wish I didn’t do But I continue learning I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know I’ve found a reason for me To change who I used…
Read moredie perfekte welle. Deine Hände sind schon taub, hast Salz in deinen Augen, zwischen Tränen und Staub, fällt es schwer oft dran zu glauben, hast dein Leben lang gewartet, hast die Wellen nie gezählt, das ist alles nicht gewollt, hast viel zu schnell gelebt. Jetzt kommt sie langsam auf dich zu, das Wasser schlägt dir…
Read morei’m so happy i can’t stop crying. i watched “the miracle of bern” yesterday and even if i am by no means a big soccer fan – it touched me. it reminded me so much of my grandad. what it meant to him to spend 4 years as a prisoner of war in russia. what…
Read moreup north. got an sms from mia. she’s back in finland again – i really envy her, wish i could be up there again. now that i have my so called life here, i miss that country so much. got a message from sanna “i am feeling lonely wherever i am”. why aren’t you here…
Read morea day in fall. if i had a wish now, i would ask god to let fall quickly slip away. let it rain and snow, let green turn to grey. let the morning’s be misty. as the memories of the beautiful day in fall that just passed will carry me beyond the cold winter nights,…
Read morei still dare to move. though it’s hidden beyond my everyday life, i still have my dreams. i got the best job in the world – it gets me out to the people and they, for whatever reason, talk to me. tell me their problems, wishes and dreams. being a journalist teaches you one big…
Read moreone year or two. It is exactly one year since I first posted something on mindwork. How time flies and oh, how much has changed in the last year. It is also exactly two years since the Bali bombing. As the time passes, may we not forget that all those touched by this dreadful event…
Read moreone step up and two steps back. thinking of the last couple of months, aimlessly floating around between the top of the world and rock bottom. kerstin said i was emotionally insane – gave me a good laugh and hours to think. i believe. Denn er hat seinen Engeln befohlen, daß sie dich behüten auf…
Read morea misty fall’s morning. Hemingway wrote: “I loved her once and then she gypped me. And I don’t blame her. But I set out to cauterize out her memory and I burnt it out with a course of booze and other women and now it’s gone.” But not gone entirely… Reminds me of something. I…
Read morea selfish country. Yesterday Australia had the 4th federal election since I reached eligible voting age, and as the politicians’ so often reminded us during the campaign, the people decided. Unfortunately they decided to return the Coalition government for the 4th time nnot only with an increased majority but also with the possibility to gain…
Read morepoetry, she wrote. elfriede jelinek, 57-year old austrian writer is the winner of nobel price for literature in 2004. congratulations, you make us all proud. i believe.
Read morewherever you may be. On a quiet street where old ghosts meet, I see her walking now away from me, So hurriedly. my reason must allow, For I have wooed, not as I should A creature made of clay. When the angel woos the clay, he?ll lose His wings at the dawn of the day….
Read moreit’s only us. cherin from jyväskylä send me a movie the international students in JKL did this semester. watching all the places i had been to a hundred times, knowing every corner, every move, just everything suddenly brought all those memories back. i met some of the best people in skövde, sweden and jyväskyläy, finland….
Read moredo you know who you are? everyonce in a while i feel really down, and the reason for it is, funny enough, myself. though i am constantly moving i have a hard time finishing things, my degree, even small simple things. i don’t know why – i might just be easily distracted by some things…
Read moreat the wake. And oh At the wake. at the wake I will turn to see a face Just a face, just a face That’s surrounded by a name What a name, what a name And we never want to change What you gave, what you gave Never want to let go So surround me,…
Read moreder tag am meer. back from djerba. everyday life has settled in once again. if this trip to africa could be reduced to one single moment, it was the one out there on the waves with katherina, the deep blue beyond – and life as i knew it, so far away. but i don’t remember…
Read morethe America I love. In a time when world events focus us on the negative, I am lucky to be reminded of another America. More than three years after I first arrived on a beautiful clear day in Oakland I remember the warmth of the northern Californian indian summer with its still, clear mornings and…
Read morewhere the ocean meets the land. i had been dreaming of it for such a long time. walking in the wet sand the ocean brushing against my feet. it was way past midnight when i finlly made it down there. just walked along the beach, the moon guiding my way. austria suddenly seemed far far…
Read moreThe Life of Pi. “I can well imagine an atheist’s last words: “White, white! L-L-Love! My God!” – and the deathbed leap of faith. Whereas the agnostic, if he stays true to his reasonable self, if he stays beholden to dry, yeastless factuality, might try to explain the warn light bathing him by saying, “Possibly…
Read morethe great wide open. off the island of djerba i sailed for the first time in my life today. the salty air, the waves hitting our small cat-boat just me and katherina. being totally unexperience i had to trust her a thousand percent and it paid off. for an hour or so i felt free,…
Read moresilence.
went to see the german movie “der untergang” (the downfall) yesterday. it’s about the last 12 days of the world war II in berlin. the gruesome reality of my country’s history crept up to me. it’s our history and turning towards the future to make sure that we won’t allow history to repeat itself doesn’t…
Read moreIt feels like an eternity since I have opened up this page to type. I know not how long it has actually been. Many things have changed in my life while others have stayed the same. I am back in college with the most credits I have ever taken at once and I am also…
Read moresunshower. yesterday while investigating material for a series of articles i wanted to check out some place. nobody was there, but everything was locked. finally i ecountered the janitor who welcomed me suspicious eyes. after telling him who i was and which paper i was writing before he started to smile. he had read my…
Read moreon top of the world. went hiking on the weekend. it’s been long since i have been on the mountains, though it’s only a 20 minutes drive frm my hometown. it was a two-hour walk up, no cell phones ringing, no cars running, just the purity of the austrian mountains, the good talks between friends…
Read morethe butterfly effect. i guess it’s something that everbody has thought of at least a couple of times in his life. the what-if type of thinking, what-if i had done this or that. i was thinking of it again this weekend – i went to vienna to meet tuija, who used to be my finnish…
Read moreI loved you in my fashion. All colours bleed to red Asleep on the ocean’s bed Drifting on empty seas For all my days remaining But would north be true? Why should I? Why should I cry for you? Dark angels follow me Over a godless sea Mountains of endless falling, For all my days…
Read moreall these faces. sitting at frankfurt airport. five days in finland behind me, the best of them all the last real day sanna and me spent together. if breaking up a relationship can ever have a gentle touch, this one had it. sitting here between all these nameless faces i remember one of the best…
Read moreInsanity laughs under pressure we’re. A gentle rain pushed down on Helsinki at ten minutes before one. Like it or not, up north, the weather is far from predictable. Looking out of my window in Pohjois-Haaga 20 minutes from the center of Helsinki the wind bends the trees, takes down their leaves. To me, it…
Read moreback in town. for 48 consecutive hours i haven’t been able to wipe the smile from my face. i’ll be back in town, back in finland, back with the people. i’ll meet päivi tomorrow, i’ll see sanna on friday. back to the baltic – life is beautiful. i believe.
Read more