the extra mile. exactly a year since i started working for our newspaper. to me it went by with the blink of an eye and i still remember the first day as if it was yesterday. within me things have changed. for the first time in my life i feel that this is the right…
Read moreeternal sunshine on the spotless mind. go see it. feel it. believe it. i haven’t seen a great movie like this one for such a long time. either you leave it after 15 minutes, or it goes under your skin, creeps up on your mind and you fall in love with it. i had one…
Read moreand as the lights went off. enjoying the darkness is one of the things i had to learnt he hard way. i was always afraid of the dark. now i have learned to love it. learned to accept it as the best time to think over things. the best time to write, to cry and…
Read morethe ocean i was yesterday walking along the beach in italy. the place was grouded with tourists but in my mind there was only the steady rhythm of the ocean: the waves, the smell, the sound and the sand beneth my feet. on that very moment I felt complete and calm. For the first time…
Read moreone big smile. yesterday – i saw ultimate happiness. a little girl, not older than four years. holding a balloon she just got in her hand. the biggest smile in the world on her face. life at its best. i believe
Read morethe reason. i love to fly. you ride the clouds and everything that looks so important miles below you, fades away. you can`t escape and quite frankly i never want to. flying to portugal yesterday gave me that feeling again – we flew over the coast, the ocean way back below. a pefect moment. i…
Read morea ray of light. everytime i walk along the lake, i feel calm. as yesterday. as sanna and me went for a walk, we felt this was it: the deciding moment in our relation. do we want to be sanna&stefan or sanna and stefan. the fact that i love her has been unchanged. right now,…
Read moreto make it count. to live you have to love. you have to love the small simple things. the simple things that make everything count, seeing the smile on a stranger’s face because you helped out with some coins. It’s just one of those small seemingly unimportant things that make this world come together day…
Read moreforeign affairs Floating on air. Foreign affair. A magical potion, A cool locomotion. A dream, A prayer. -Mike Oldfield
Read morehalt mich. went to see herbert grönemeyer’s (probably the most famous german-speaking entertainer) concert close to vienna yesterday. To understand what he went through you have to go back to 1998, when, within four days, both his wife and his brother died of cancer. Grönemeyer ridden with anger and pain disappeared from public view. Four…
Read moreRelationships are scary. You put in so much of yourself when you really try and in itself, it doesn’t feel like you are trying at all. It is something that just comes naturally. Giving so much of yourself to someone else is scary because you have so much to lose if things don’t work out….
Read moreIt is time. I have decided it is time to take another one of those trips of mine. Ever since I went to London I feel the urge to go here and there. This time the destination is somewhere I have been before and someday hope to permanently return to: North Carolina. It was the…
Read moreDer längste Tag (The longest day) The longest day started in the dusk of June 6th 1944. 60 years later we Austrians and German’s still call it the “invasion” or the longest day. When Americans, British, Canadian and others set out to re-conquer the continent, it wasn’t a “invasion” as it has been written down…
Read moreeverybody’s got to learn sometime. i wish i could paint, but it just can’t. whatever i try to jot on paper becomes a nameless formation unrelated to what my eyes see. i wish i could freely draw my feelings onto that white stretch of paper called life. as for me, i draw by words. as…
Read morethe river still runs through it. I sat there and forgot and forgot, until what remained was the river that went by and I who watched. On the river the heat mirages danced with each other and then they danced through each other and then they joined hands and danced around each other. Eventually the…
Read moreGrowing up or growing out. I think that one of the reasons I find it so easy to relate to my students, is that in my mind I am still the 18 year old kid who has just started Uni, who believes that the world is truly their oyster and that they can conquer anything….
Read moreloneliness I feel lonely. I am lonely although I am surrounded by people. It is loneliness that no single person can fill. I am trapped by my own restrictions, decisions, thoughts, dreams and wishes. Having troubles breathing deep an sound. Something is changing inside of me. I am not able to see what is happening…
Read more25May2004 9:24pm i can’t take this any longer the words echo inside of me voices screaming neverending something’s taking hold of me i could stop it if i wanted but feeling like this penetrates every inch of my whole being knowing i won’t hesitate senses causing endless shivers run up and down in everywhere taste…
Read morethe best is yet to come. that’s what i realized listening to van morrison`s “someone like you”. thanks to god watching over me, i have met so many people that give me a chance to make something out of me. to make me complete to make me love and feel loved. people exactly like you….
Read moreHere I stand… I was told yesterday that I am a very spiritual person. This isn’t just limited to believing in God, but also being passionate about my life. I am not religious, but I do love my life. I am trying to help a friend with hers as well at the moment. Nikki is…
Read moreOur lives. We spend them looking for so many things we’ll never need. As I read somewhere at the end of our lives, we will only be measured by two things. By those we love and those who loves us. Nothing in between. Nothing to add. Nothing to take away. These are our lives, let’s…
Read morePainters always paint alone. A house by the sea. Whoever you might be, how did you know? I could walk along of where the ocean meets the land. There’d be me and my books by the open fire. In my mind I have painted that picture millions of times. A life full of colors, millions…
Read moreAm I wrong. Ernest Hemingway once said, that the rarest thing he knew in intelligent people was happiness. I got an email from a friend today and it boiled down to one simple question: Who are you really, Stefan? I don’t know, I simply don’t. My very own me is so fragile that I am…
Read moreMein Name ist Mensch. Small tears running down my cheeks. Relief. I only notice how big the pressure sometimes is when I start crying for no reason. I drove down from Villach today and for the split of a second the land, the mountains, the lakes and the whole beauty of this place spread out…
Read moreThe last day It is amazing. I am back in Finland for a week. I am having today the last day of university. Can you believe it? The last day. Then it is over and I will get my Master?s degree. But the fact that this total of six years is at end. I never…
Read moreA swedish state of mind. Sometimes insignificant things happen to you, just to realize, that whatever happens, happens for a reason. There are no coincidences. Take the last two days for example. I went to Hamburg on a press trip my alarm didn’t go off, so I missed the bus to the airport and took…
Read moreBritney says it right Come notice me And take my hand So why are we Strangers when Our love is strong Why carry on without me? I make believe That you are here It’s the only way I see clear What have I done You seem to move on easy I may have made it…
Read moreAnxiety School is almost done and I’m into the finals week next week. I have been waiting for summer for quite awhile now. There is so much that I wanna do that I’m going stir crazy. I know with Summer’s arrival I will be working more. This is a good thing for me. I have…
Read moreeveryday angels Once more Jewel: I was thinking that I might fly today Just to disprove all the things you say It doesn’t take a talent to be mean Your words can crush things that are unseen So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive And I’d like to stay that way. I have this…
Read moreEvery day life Rushing through everyday things sometimes makes you blind. Blind for beauty and the important ones around. I wish I could always see the moment and stop to just be there and share it. Say nothing, do nothing, just be there. Whit you I try even harder and whit you it is even…
Read moreNightswimming. Another full moon. To me it looks as the moon would take a dip in an endless ocean and the nameless drops of time would slowly fall upon us. Calmly sleeping by my side, you probably didn’t realize the moon, slowly passing in the window. It was him and me and yes, that very…
Read moreSunrise. I remember my life as a series of moments. One of those moments was a couple of weeks ago. My boss called me into his office and offered me to work for the paper full-time – Millions of thoughts in my head. Millions of wishes. Millions of fears as I will be posted away…
Read moreFor Leon, wherever this may find him. Fortunately I met Leon not long before I left the USA. I say fortunately, because for some reason which I cannot define in any tangible way, there is something special about him. Also, because at a time when I couldn’t work out who I was, or where in…
Read more25 golden stars. In 1995 I first saw the Austrian flag next to the one of the European Union. Exactly 50 years after World War II had ended, we ended up belonging once again. Really belonging. As of May 1st, 10 new countries will give the EU a new face, a new drive and probably…
Read moreA change towards better I’ve have been working at an ice cream shop for about a week in order to get some money. Not particularly challenging for a person who has just finished her master’s degree. But this has really made me think how many people in this world just have to do what ever…
Read moreThe grey area Do you ever ask yourself if you are holding onto things or people that are in a way self-destructive? I’ve asked myself this and I know that by the time I am asking this it is too late…I’ve already held onto someone that I should have let go. It’s very nice that…
Read moreEverything. I’ve always admired Ernest Hemingway. Keep it simple and stupid he once said, asked about writing. His descriptive and still newspaper-like style kept me chained to every line of his books I’ve read so far. I went on a short trip to Amsterdam last week. I could hear the waves brush against the bridges….
Read moreReckless Valour. On the 25th April 1915, with the world at war, a group of Australian and New Zealand troops, self-named the Australian and New Zealand Army Corp, who were part of the larger British Empire contingent, landed on the Gallipoli Peninsula. What should have been a relatively safe landing became somewhat of a bloodbath,…
Read moremy way All I wanna do in life is to be honest to myself. Try to follow my road and do the things that feel right for myself and this doesn’t mean being selfish. Being happy simply comes from inside when you know you have done everything possible for the things you have believed in….
Read moreA small milestone for me. I submitted five entries a while back for a school publishing of poetry. I just received the letter in the mail today telling that one was accepted. It is a nice feeling, to know that my work is going to be shared and felt by many. It is a controversial…
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